just maybe

Today, my day began at two in the morning. Wait. No, yes two in the morning. I woke up and just couldn’t sleep. Usually I blow up my ex’s phone asking him about his not so secret affairs. I say not so secret because they’re only a secret to me. I know what you’re thinking “well if he’s keeping them hidden it must mean he care about you still”, wrong. He’s afraid I will ruin things for his next relationship. Anyways, so instead of doing my usual crazy ex girlfriend routine, I submitted unfinished papers i had pending for work.

For a girl who’s considered gen z ,borderline millennial who wants to become a journalist, I don’t spend enough time time on the internet. I started noticing that I don’t have any particular interests. When I’ve been asked what hobbies I enjoy doing I proceed to tell them I like to scrapbook or write. That never felt tranquil to me. I’ve wondered why if I mean they are “hobbies”. But not really. Maybe because these are the ways I express myself.

I have also made the realization that I won’t reach my goal by just thinking on all my flaws. I have to put it to practice. Instead of feeling discouraged and embarrassed I should just put shit out there. Most importantly, priorities it. Something always distracts me from completing things I want to finish.

I need to find my rhythm.