laden smh

How do I want to say this ? I don’t even know honestly because I know what I have to do, and I know how to fix it. Yet, I’m still feeling a type of way about this.

So, recently I have been monitoring my weight, not really sure when that started. Anyways, during my birthday week I gained two pounds. That was a little crazy to me because I hadn’t been aware of how much weight really fluctuates I guess. Well, during that week I had a mini freak out moment. I stayed at that weight ( I don’t think I should include my weight because I’ll cry ) literally up until last week. I haven’t weighed myself since last Sunday. Literally the first of the month. Today, I weighed myself ( only by chance because I was talking to someone about something relating to them nothing to do with me) and I was literally shocked. Like, my jaw literally dropped.

Um, okie this actually sucks to be talking about uh okay, I have managed to stay at the new weight with like struggles. I already eat very little. To see that I had gained double that sort of freaked me out. Just because I was already struggling and now I’m realizing that it is very much what I eat as opposed to how much I eat.

I have been sober for a month now, and I felt like I couldn’t change my eating habit while I was cutting off alcohol, it would have been a heavier strain on my body and mental. Now, I guess I can start focusing on my diet and my fitness.