Nobody's Home

When did the superstition of black cats even start? Well I suppose it varies from culture to culture. In the 16th century it was believed; if a black cat sat on your bed it meant you were going to die. Others say seeing a black cat in your dreams indicated you are experiencing some fear in using your psychic abilities and believing in your intuition. Black cats are considered good luck in most of Britain and Japan.

Anyways , I know I took some time off, I was just taking time to think for a moment… you know if life and yeah. Technically, last month was my first official month but I took that month as a starter. So August, new school semester, new personal project, and really just learning to be on my own. Well okay that sounds intense. What I mean by that is just try to be okay with like going to places on my own, or just relaxing enough to stay at home and actually relax.

I get really anxious when I walk alone now. I have so many altercations with strangers on my walk home or on the train. I just self consciously on alert because I feel like if I’m not someone will touch me or steal from me. Now, my history shows I don’t handle things in the calmest way but I have to be realistic when it comes to things like this. I could try to put up a fight and I could run really fast. We have to take into account that my diet is not the greatest either. SO if i were to say throw a punch or run its more likely I would be the one to break my arm or fist. I also do not like having to have someone fight my fights, so the uncomfortable feeling of having to walk with someone because its safer also makes me anxious. I would like to just walk.

Perhaps, I should reconsider meditating again.