wake up lean

sometimes in the morning my day to day experiences present themselves in the most horrific ways. LMAO did that sound dramatic enough. I wouldn’t know which other way to put it. I wake up and realize how shitty my person is or all the actions ive taken to lead me to feeling this way in the mornings.

Its in the mornings it feels the strongest. I wake up and im like hmm i have to mentally prepare myself for whatever i have planned that day. I feel sure that every single person in this planet feels overwhelmed with their life in the mornings, but I also feel sure people get past it and now dread it. I do. I lay there thinking of all the stupid shit that makes me feel like shit and let it eat my thoughts away.

But today… in the middle of it i started to cry and then felt stupid. Why do i do that to myself. I can walk away from all the bad crap. Right. Walk past it like normal humans. So i get up. But doesn’t it feel like that following the crown? I don’t seem to get over shit easily. I feel every bad glare, every tone, every comment it sucks ! People high key suck.

But i am people. I suck. So when people treat me bad its like i mean they only do that because i allow them. Then it becomes normal for people to act a certain way… and all i do is allow myself to mistreat myself