June 5, 2018: Taking a Breather

I am running out of things to do. At the beginning of the of year I was just wilding (is this not a word) out.  Obviously I was dealing with Kris dumping me and then making me feel like a shitty person for not taking me back. Shortly after that Rebeca stopped talking to me because she thought I chose Polo over her when she knew that obviously she couldn't be there for me, when I asked her to be there for Kris. Whatever the reason she wasn't there and polo was and he's been my friend for five years. Then josh decides to stop talking to me because he had to get over me or whatever. But I don't feel like talking about him.

So since I suck and I don't know how to cope with shit I went and got two tattoos. I don't regret my tattoos, I actually REALLY like my tattoos. I started to drink alot. For a second, I actually tried to go out and get my mind off things.

I have recently gone back to being ...not okay. Andy has been helping me through stuff. Polo and Gean are have been actually the sweetest to me. They actually look out for my well being and they're always there for me when I need them :). Gean is also doing better. Y'all don't know but he was going through a tough patch. I'm just glad he's better now.

School has not been my friend this semester. It is okay tho because these next semester is my come back semester. 

Also,  my anger has not been controlled lately. I stopped smoking for a minute and my mood has been off the charts. I am like irritated all the time. At everything. And it's not like I can control it. Most of the time I black out. It wasn't always this bad tho, it has gotten worst over time.   

Anyways I make this promise all the time but I want to start writing on here more because I need something to relieve my stress lmao so I will.