quelle durée

RECAP OF LEAN’S DAY

Well, I was late to being early. I honestly just need more time to write. I want to find the time but I get home and end up feeling too tired. At least that’s been the excuse usually.

There was nothing different about today. I feel slightly different everyday. Its not an immediate change but I notice certain things in myself that show big changes in my character and that makes me feel so good. I really do feel like I hold myself back most of the time. I don’t have to brag to be successful at what I want to accomplish. Not that anyones asked me to or has put pressure on me. I have just always had this nasty mentality something was expected of me. But I didn’t expect anything of myself. Dumb of me.

Anyways, I am now at a place where I know what I want to do during my journey. The next part is the tough part. I find this next step is the hardest part of any process, the committing part. I have to make sure I am pushing MYSELF.

(why is this so hard for me to accept? I know I don’t need anyone, why do I feel the need to be accepted by everyone?)

That does not mean I won’t do it tho. I want to force myself to be better because I know its easy to get it together. At this point I make life harder on myself and I’m over that.

I bought this corduroy coat at the mall after work, I will definitely be wearing that more than half of my lifetime. There is so much I am planning I am so excited. I am not a person to take control of anything and this new mentality I’ve gained in regards to control over my life and decisions is hopeful.