i am mad

I am mad! I am mad! i am mad! I do not care I am mad! I wake up with anxiety and it seems like its nothing but me making a fuss of something. I open my eyes in the morning and i feel something rushing up and down my veins. My hand and legs. My brain feels like those cages at circuses where the motorcycles ride up and down and diagonal. Well, thats how it feels someone is in my head in the morning. I am tired! I am doing all this pretending and it seems im okay but i am not okay.

I don’t want to say hi to everyone. But if i don’t something is wrong with me. I don’t want people to know I have no idea what my plan is. I just know what I want to accomplish. I know people care for me, just sometimes people don’t. They make things worse. Then I think its just me being the same lean jjst overthinking making a FUSS OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE I WANT TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION ??????? nooooo i dont want to be that !!!

For the love of GOD! I don’t WANTING TO BE TREATED LIKE ANY OTHER PERSON IS NOT ME WANTING TO HAVE ATTENTION!!!!!

oh jeez rick now theres tears.

I am just a person. a kid. a woman. I am learning how to live on this planet with millions of others who are not as emotional as I am. Who are mean and ruthless. Like me.

I hate us.

Good Morning leanster, go out today and be helpful and useful, kind and understanding, but regardful of other souls.