You know what's funny ?

So, usually I do not say names on here, just because I don’t know who will read this. Honestly, I don’t care, I feel pressed and need to let it so I could continue with my day and still function accordingly.

It’s really my job. It just always seems like it never enough or ever ending. They like to shove it off by saying stuff like “It’s just retail there is no need to stress”, valid.

What’s not valid is to expect a new ADM to perfect what three DM’s should be doing. Now this has been a thing for about a year now, I don’t think the task is impossible, it is just discouraging and draining when the only feedback I receive is ways to improve and not eve acknowledging what has been accomplished. I am not perfect but I do a hell lot more than the man in charge.

See typing it and saying it out loud, it does make me feel like I can still do more. I should also realize that just because there is always effort to improve does not mean my efforts are being acknowledged. If I’m being frank if I do anything is for validation. I’m a needy girl, what can I say.

I want my price. I deserve more. I will reach a higher level. Maybe the path I’ve chosen to focus on hasn’t been the most ideal. Maybe it has worked to get me out of the dark place I was in, but now that I’m out of the haze; I can clearly see I cannot stay stationed in one place. I must keep going.

The next part is going to be the most challenging. The self-discipline I will have to commit to won’t be easy but when I get there I will refer back to this very moment. This feeling.

I will be better than I expect MYSELF to be.