it's just not- — leanster

oh man oh man

I honestly wouldn’t even know where to start— so many things have happened in the last couple days. Believe you me, I am one to complain but I move on quick. Especially because life is so eventful, my mornings feel weeks apart from my nights. An hour feels like two days have gone by and my months flash before my eyes but my biggest headache is knowing how much simpler my life would be if I drove.

It is a little more shocking that I don’t drive, the older I get. I live in Los Angeles, the city of traffic. Probably my biggest incentive to keep away from driving. Well , that and the cost. Although, living alone without a car isn’t the easiest. Driving just never seemed to be a big priority, then it simply just didn’t fit into my lifestyle. I took advantage of your average bottle, on one too manny occasions. I probably still do, more than I’d care to admit.

It really does begin as an escape. It doesn’t stay the escape. Eventually, it became somewhat of a norm. My default. I like to think i’m not that person anymore, but maybe thats why events like Saturday happened.

Saturday. Tuesday. Last Monday. 2020. Default.

Then a couple days go bye… oop sorry then it’s morning and I realize that it’s okay because these are the memories. Most importantly, my memories.

Saturday isn’t my default. Tuesday isn’t my 2020. Last Monday was just Last Monday .