scattered

This year had been pretty chaotic. Usually my year is eventful and there is always something happening or I’m getting myself into, but this year the universe didn’t seem to need my help.

I made myself a schedule to follow. I have been doing that thing I do where I shut down, not so helpful during certain situations I’m going through. Which is why i re-wrote my schedule so I could remember to follow it. See, I know that’s how it works; you fake it til you make it and sometimes I just don’t want to. Like, I sometimes just want to bed rot and I shouldn’t be sorry because I believe everyone deserves the leeway to take the time to bed rot until one is ready to socialize with the world.

You know, I would also like to talk about work because technically my job doesn’t require alot The job has a lot of potential in like growing but no one ever like really makes it past the intro phase because I mean the turn over rate on this place was horrible prior to this year.

Honestly, I think the key is to control your controlables. Its just weird that everything really is in your control. So what gives ? What is it i am not doing right. Let me tell you what i’m doing wrong, my problem is I care too fucking much about what others think. yuck.

Like, and i’m so dependent on other’s opinion because i feel like im asking for advice, but then i dont think about my choice im just like okay bet.

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OK, so i’ve opened and closed this draft about like five times and I wanna try something different and I’m going on an outing right now. That was very spontaneous but very much my idea and I feel like for this entry, I’m gonna try to like record log it so that it’s more accurate like time accurate is what I mean but we’ll see because I don’t know if I’ll feel comfortable talking talk logging it so we’ll see Also, it’s 6:46 PM

Well, I failed. I got home like 12am which is pretty solid compared to the times I have been getting home fairly late. Although, the hangout didn’t go how I planned I think me and my friend got closer. I totally yapped and trauma dumped.

Kaleen Duran