annie, are you okay? won't you tell us you're okay

Dude, this year completely blows. Well, not really I am actually getting a lot done, but i mean the world is still shit, people are lying, babies are being born and we’re all dying anyways. Okay I don’t understand why I have to go to extremes all the time. But the world is shit (someone told me ‘well i know your not suppose to start a sentence with but, I don’t think that applies rn) global warming is getting worse and worse each year and the majority of people are oblivious to just how severe it is!

Honestly, I feel like I am running out of time and I know thats so childish and naive thing to say but I don’t think I have that much time to decide who I have to be or anything really ! Why am I here to begin with! And I will rant about this until I know why. What is the reason I am taking up all this mass? Why was I born with - you know what not only could I not spell the word BUT I shouldn't be ungrateful for my life thats not what im saying. I get we just kind of live because i mean we’re already here and I know that I’ll just be okay with just getting by until its my time. I still want to know why we have to just get by, and why choosing when to take your OWN life is not understood . (i don’t mean any of this to be disrespectful) I’m just saying we’re the ones living it why can’t we choose when we want outs. I suppose it is like cheating everyone ELSE who is choosing to live their life through… *sigh* just random thoughts. I just want to know already I suppose. What happens next. Weather it was useless to live by certain ideals. Or maybe thats the point for us to make all types of decision as tests. LOL okay im getting lost .

I had another drunk incident last night. I naturally ruined things the way I know how. Man I just want to fucking be there already you know. The point where everything just clicks and makes sense.